hmms

hmm read dear's blog and find that she really really loves clubbing.. sigh.. well i think i am selffish.. yes.. i am always selffish.. i only care abt myself. and.. well i am stupid.. sensetive.. and.. yes.... i am the old me...

i am afraid of guys snatching my gf away.. really afraid.. seeing those club guys who will dance and rub against girls i feel sadded... what if those girls got boyfriends? and.. the boyfriend don even know it? and what if the guy happen to drunk a girl or putting pills and in the end , ended up in hotel with no 1 business? hm.. thats why i am afraid when my gf go to club...

hais.. maybe i watch too much tv? or ppl telling too much bad abt it? or my stupid brain likes to imagine it..?

hmm sunday night dear got a date from horse to go club... discuiss with dear and she agreed not to club... shes sad i know... so am i .. wonder why will my brain keep thinking of it.. maybe... i am just too sensetive abt clubbing..

it may be jus like dancing or drinking nth much... but.. i am confuse... friends telling how bad they were inside.. they can rub with girls? can like touch with girls? and the girls too high till they donno what they doing? get surrounded by guys and got touch or trapped?

thats too hurting if 1 day your boyfriend saw what it happens ... it will be a very very hurtful scene...

hmm this wat i scare of my gf going clubbing and wat i expect not to happen.... but lucky my dear wont flirt with guys... hmm coz she hate guys? yup...

at first when i know her.. (my gf) she nv mention abt clubs.. and she told me she hate noise.. yup.. i was so happy! as i know she wont go clubbing type.. unlike my friend.. was so sway that her girlfriend clubs.. yes ! somemore from nus! and.. wat he told me was , 1 day when her gf go club... and he nv go due to some police case that have to be at home by 8pm.. and her gf went to club..

and the gf dance with guys and dance till so closely .... ! how did my frind know!? well he called his friend to check on her gf if shes alright... and.. her friend found that she was OUTSIDE FLIRTING WITH GUYS? OMG... so sadd... for him... hmm..

when i heared... i feel sorry for him.. i donno if they broke up.. but i know they stead very long..

there after i am afraid of my gf clubs so i nv ever mention to her abt club... till 1 day... hmmm nyjc promt night? and my dear went to club... yes... things came true..

guys surround , dance near to her friend.. or wat ever so... hais.. when i heard was like... wan to cry but nv... keep on telling myself.. its nth normal...

but.. it happen... and i can;t bluff myself for long.. i almost forget abt it... till her friend.. want to date her out to club again... yes when i listen.. i was so.. ( unable to discuribe ) i gt nth to say..

and i agreed as if i say no.. dear will also force me to go.. so no point rejecting it..

yup.. we went home and discuiss ... i told her.. if she wan to go.. yar.. she can... and silence of me.... keeping to myself.. another.. devastated day to pass.. maybe if she go , i will sleep the whole night.. till the next day.. i will pretend nth happen..

she keep on forcing me to go.. or persuade me to go... i know she wanted to go badly.. but ... i just don liek the place..

1) expensive
2) i don dance
3)i hate the guys there
4)i don wan see unwanted thigns there
5)afraid of things happen
6) cab home
7)don drink..

yar...

hais..

donno wat to do... i need to get over it.. over the scared of club..
yes 1 day i will..

when i get mad..
or when i am not me anymore.. i will club..

wel.. i told dear i wil pei her go on ladies night.. maybe more girls there? therefore the guy will choose those girl? hais.

afterall.. i don bear to see my dear put down things she like becoz of me..
i wan her to have her own happiness...
i wan her to be happy of wat she is doing...
i wan trust her fully

i am sorry baobei..
which those days i don like u go..
is becoz i love u too much...
i don wish things happen on u which no 1 knows

i treasure our relationship...
and i wan the wish to come true..

the future of us having our house with lots pets..

i love you..

muackz!